The closest yet

I keep thinking of your smile.

It's the prettiest smile I think I have ever seen.

I was so flooded with serotonin and endorphins as soon as we started talking to each other.

I found myself thinking of all the things I wanted to do in life again.

I found myself picturing the time we could share in the future.

You know how reality is often so very far removed from our dreams?
I don't want this to be like that.

I mean, it feels different. I feel different. In my infatuation I might make claims I can't fulfill. I would tell myself things like: I'll move heaven & Earth to be there for you, to provide for you, to make sure you're happy.

All fear subsides, and suddenly I am capable of seeing things in a new light.

I know I'm getting ahead of myself, and I should stop myself from getting carried away.

How can I claim to love her when I've known her for such a short period of time?

How can I hope for her to love me when she knows practically nothing of me or of my troubles & faults?

Everything tells me to ground myself this time so that love's electrical current doesn't burn through my heart this time.

Even with the risk, I can't stop myself from tumbling head over heels for you.

I want to be so much better at everything in my life, and I want to show you how good I am.

I hope I can start to be
starting now.


"When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide
For all time

For all time"

Obsidian Love Horcrux

Shatter your soul in the name of love everlasting.

Every name -- a shard
splintering what was once pure
until it becomes as jagged as obsidian.

Pour gasoline liberally; set it on fire.
As the icy exterior melts it reveals
a heart of darkness.

Actions speak louder than words do

I don't know where I lost myself

between the insanity of mania
or the devastation of depression

or the pitfalls in between
or the lack of friends, caring, a job, family ties

I'm starting to figure out what I'm doing wrong and I try to correct it
but I feel like I'll never get completely caught up.

I love how people tell you your perspective is the problem.
It's such an empty solution. Well of course you're depressed when you talk like that!

Actually, if you want to ignore the reasons and insert your own... do I need to be here for this diagnosis?

You're an idiot. Keep spreading it around and I'll take heed of your advice right after my lobotomy.

K? Great.

LA LA LA!

"Born to multiply!
Born to gaze into night skies!
All you want's one more Saturday..."

I am the conscience clear

"You're staring at the sun --

oh, my own voice cannot save me now.

Standing in the sea --

one more breath and then I'll go down.

Your mouth is open wide - the lover is inside

and all the tumult's done - collided with the sun.

You're staring at the sun.

You're standing in the sea.

Your body's over me."

This music makes me want to start channeling Satan in my own, just to see where it takes me.

Pfft

I don't know what makes people so fickle.

I really wish I knew.

Put it in a boat... light it on fire!

Chad VanGaalen - Willow Tree

Chad VanGaalen

I'll find you and I'll kill you!

Oh tell me, why is this happening?

Should I believe in anything?


- Recently I realized things aren't as bad as they could be.

I also realized that all the new friends in the world won't replace my old ones.

I was the King

I can't help but feel like I would be the king of this.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

We did enjoy our happiness...

MSTRKRFT w/ John Legend
Heartbreaker

Link to song on Songza

Josh Freese - Since 1972

Oh But You'll Get Yours In Your Time

Thank God* for lastfm.

*(probably doesn't exist)

Abandon

Leave

Ignore

Filter

Delude

Make it everything you ever wanted to be

Because to be real
to be a realist

to acknowledge the problem as it is, not as you'd like to see it

it takes more than what you have to offer, currently.

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

And that's about as far as the identity crisis has gone.