#1 Fix your shit
Get your damn life in order
#2 STFU Permanently
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Give up for good
"I loved you with a fire - red
now it's turning blue"
I'm sorry for everything I've ever done.
If a bullet would fix it,
I would have fired it into my temple long ago.
If starting fights with all of my friends would have fixed me,
I would have been fixed long ago.
The reality is:
this is my problem. Not yours.
Leave me alone if you don't want me to bring you down.
now it's turning blue"
I'm sorry for everything I've ever done.
If a bullet would fix it,
I would have fired it into my temple long ago.
If starting fights with all of my friends would have fixed me,
I would have been fixed long ago.
The reality is:
this is my problem. Not yours.
Leave me alone if you don't want me to bring you down.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Wisconsin
Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing here?
Do I know you?
Do you know me?
What is the nature of this conversation?
Are we supposed to be friends?
Did you know me from somewhere specific, anywhere worth noting?
Am I special?
Are you special?
What is going on?
I am lost. I hope you can find me!
Where am I?
What am I doing here?
Do I know you?
Do you know me?
What is the nature of this conversation?
Are we supposed to be friends?
Did you know me from somewhere specific, anywhere worth noting?
Am I special?
Are you special?
What is going on?
I am lost. I hope you can find me!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I give up
You can all kill each other for all I care.
Go listen to this guy if you haven't run into this brick wall of red tape from our government:
http://davidtakesontheworld.blogspot.com/
He's smart, he's intelligent, and he'll kill a demon where it stands if it looks at him the wrong way.
;)
Go listen to this guy if you haven't run into this brick wall of red tape from our government:
http://davidtakesontheworld.blogspot.com/
He's smart, he's intelligent, and he'll kill a demon where it stands if it looks at him the wrong way.
;)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
A Man Named Tommy
By: Kyle Culver
At around 5:30 PM on this day, April 13th 2008, I had the good fortune of meeting someone new.
The man I met told me his name was Tommy.
His real name is Thomas Jou.
Thomas is homeless. His former hometown is Houston, Texas. His father is one of those heartwarming came-to-America-and-succeeded stories. Tommy’s father is an Iranian engineer of some lucrative (highly technical) sort. Tommy told me he hasn't talked to his dad in at least 4 years. Nor has he talked to his mother, who still apparently resides around Houston.
Thomas lives here in Albuquerque with us. Anytime you feel the desire to see how he’s doing -- you can, simply by heading down toward the UNM main campus. Once you’re there, go west on Central and look for him. He’ll be somewhere with all the other homeless people who occupy the area underneath the bridge near the Central Avenue Railroad crossing. (Or whatever the real name is for that little bridge area everyone honks under near First St. & Central.)
Tommy came here from Houston with the hopes of finding a new home, getting a fresh start. These are the exact same hopes and thoughts many of our citizens thought when they relocated to our beautiful city. Unfortunately, in Tommy's case, he also never experimented with heroin before moving here.
I feel like I can't overstate this enough.
He could really use -your- help. Tommy needs -your- time. If you continue to read, you’ll see that he's waited his time, he's paid his dues. It’s his turn for a little good fortunate to fall his way for once. It's time for his life to improve.
It's time to stop the cycle of addiction, and it's time to help this man heal.
Yes: he is homeless. Yes, there is a reason for why he is currently homeless. Tommy suffers from a drug addiction. Tommy’s addiction is to heroin.
In case you’re already wondering: yes, he has tried to quit the drug in the past.
Knowing that, I asked him: “Do you feel like you gave it all your effort when you tried to quit last time?” His response was that he didn't try to quit with all the force he could possibly muster. He also told me that he now knows that he was mistaken to have ever thought that trying heroin would lead to anything but utter devastation. He told me that he can look back to just a few years ago, before he moved to Albuquerque, and he can remember what it was like to not be addicted.
He knows now how horribly addictive of a drug it is, now that he's addicted to it. To say that heroin is the most addictive substance known to man may seem like common knowledge, but where I grew up it was very common for young adults to experiment with every drug, including heroin.
I have to let you know though, despite all his flaws, I admire Tommy a great deal. I respect him so much for what he shared with me. I feel like he has an indomitable spirit because through all of his hardship, he remains faithful to God. He remains hopeful that things will get better for him. Even though he couldn't beat his addiction to heroin with all of his might last time; he thinks this time might be different.
I think it could be too, if he gets the right kind of help.
Thomas just got out of jail two weeks ago. He had to serve approximately 30 days for a total of 4 panhandling tickets that he acquired in rapid succession.
Yes: he asked you for money and food. He then went on to use the money for drugs because he is addicted. In the world of addiction, Tommy needs heroin everyday just to feel "okay". He tells me that he uses the drug for completely different reasons than any other drug he has ever done. In the past it was recreational for him; he did drugs for fun. Now everyday that he wakes up he is immediately sick and in pain until he can scrape together 20$ for a fix.
In his mind, he needs that drug more than anything else in the world.
When I gave Tommy 4$ for some Wendy's, he opened up to me, and he educated me about how it is to be addicted to heroin.
He told me how bad the physical pain is when you go any amount of time without heroin in your system. He told me about how hard it is to be a "functional" heroin user.
I told him I understood, and that it is hard to be a functional human being when you are that addicted to any substance.
Try to imagine, for a second, anyone you know as a heroin addict.
Try to imagine the next person you meet as being someone who shoots heroin into their arm every night when they go home. You'll probably see your local supermarket, your local McDonalds, your local everything - in a whole new way.
The saddest part of listening to Thomas’s story isn’t any of that.
The worst part of his story, the part that gets me up in arms is this:
He's been in jail for one sole reason --
panhandling.
According to him, he has never been arrested for possessing drugs. He was never incarcerated for being aggressive. He never robbed someone when he needed a fix. Even though he never did, I'm sure someone who was addicted to heroin has.
He didn't hurt anyone. He didn't kill anyone.
He never did any of those things, but he had to suffer in the loneliness, isolation, and boredom that is a prison cell regardless.
I would argue that the only difference between myself and Thomas is that I'm not addicted to heroin.
The only reason I'm not addicted to heroin is because I've never tried it. Hopefully I never will.
I try not to pass judgment upon Thomas, but I can’t help it. I feel like he is such a good person at his core. I feel like he is: as smart as I am, as good-looking, as reasonable, as tolerant, and as loving as I am.
I feel like he has a lot of potential, in much the same way I feel like I do in the future. I see myself in him, and I think he saw himself in me as we talked about the state of affairs we find ourselves living in.
I can only hope to convey how great of man he seemed to me to be, when I finally saw past his addiction. The good news is that with a little help and a lot of effort on his behalf; he still could become highly successful one day.
Thomas is 30 years old now. He's not a kid anymore. He's in what I would describe as the "prime" of his adult life. He's at the age where people start to settle down in their lives and occupy their niche. “Normal” people, those of us who don’t have such terrible addictions, start to get married usually by this age. Some of us are lucky enough to have kids, purchase a home, and become productive members of society by the time we’re 30.
But instead of doing those things, Thomas wakes up everyday -- needing a fix.
Thomas feels pain, every moment of everyday that he's not high on heroin.
Thomas used to use other drugs too. But guess what? None of those even compare to heroin for him anymore. It's in a league of its own. If you’re like me and you didn’t understand how addictive and lethal it can be --
please go see the film: Requiem For A Dream.
Rent it, borrow it, try to find clips of it on the internet if you have to. Short glimpses of the movie can be seen on websites like YouTube.
Requiem For A Dream will probably change your life. It will probably alter your viewpoints. Hopefully, it will teach you a little bit about addiction & drugs along the way.
Be prepared; do not take the film's message lightly.
Drugs are a debilitating and destructive force in our world. While our perceptions of drugs are accurate in a lot of ways, unfortunately, our government’s policies regarding them don’t always reflect that knowledge.
Ultimately, rather than acknowledge that we have a nation with a problem -- we've convinced ourselves that by making drug busts and throwing drug users in jail that we're cutting off the problem at its source.
Newsflash: We aren't doing anything close to stopping the problem. We certainly aren’t cutting off the source. Drugs are still a rampant problem. They aren’t going away anytime soon. It’s one of those terrible afflictions with an outlook so bleak that when I look at the future I can only hope that it doesn’t get any worse.
Here’s the secret we may have missed:
Drugs aren't the source of the drug problem.
Society, healthcare, people, addiction -- these are the true sources of the drug problem in America.
Millions of Americans struggle with their addictions, and I'm sure thousands if not millions struggle with heroin specifically.
These people need our help. We're clearly either not giving them enough help, or we’re going about the entire problem all wrong.
Thomas told me that he once spent 65 days in our prison system(again, right here in Albuquerque) after an appearance before a particularly vindictive judge regarding his panhandling. So now he’s wasted nearly 3 months of his life in jail -- because he couldn't pay the 50$ bond he was given for… not having any money and having to resort to asking strangers for money in the first place?
This does not make sense. This is atrocious. This is wrong. This needs to change. People in our government and people in our community need to help this man, and they should have been able to help him a long time ago.
If you feel like this isn't something that's unsolvable, if you recognize that this is a problem that we can fix as a society, as a nation -- then please keep reading.
I feel like it is our duty to help our fellow Americans. Do everything you can; expect nothing in return.
Try your hardest to do anything you can to help your fellow United States citizens.
Help your neighbors. Listen to them. Tolerate them. Accept them. Become a part of your community, and become a part of the solution to the problems that I refuse to let us ignore any longer.
If you are able to: try to take the less fortunate into your home. If you aren’t comfortable with that, please buy them food. If you have no money to give, try to listen to them and give them someone to talk to. Please try to do anything you can to help them; they so desperately need it.
I have realized that I can't do this all on my own anymore.
Everything you can give helps people like Thomas. Everything you can give helps people like me.
In an attempt to sum up my experience in meeting him:
a meal at Wendy’s on Central by UNM: 4$
a drink at the 7-11 right next to it: 1$
Sharing a human experience and helping a man who is down on his luck: priceless.
I have written these words to incite change, to spread awareness. Please help if you can!
At around 5:30 PM on this day, April 13th 2008, I had the good fortune of meeting someone new.
The man I met told me his name was Tommy.
His real name is Thomas Jou.
Thomas is homeless. His former hometown is Houston, Texas. His father is one of those heartwarming came-to-America-and-succeeded stories. Tommy’s father is an Iranian engineer of some lucrative (highly technical) sort. Tommy told me he hasn't talked to his dad in at least 4 years. Nor has he talked to his mother, who still apparently resides around Houston.
Thomas lives here in Albuquerque with us. Anytime you feel the desire to see how he’s doing -- you can, simply by heading down toward the UNM main campus. Once you’re there, go west on Central and look for him. He’ll be somewhere with all the other homeless people who occupy the area underneath the bridge near the Central Avenue Railroad crossing. (Or whatever the real name is for that little bridge area everyone honks under near First St. & Central.)
Tommy came here from Houston with the hopes of finding a new home, getting a fresh start. These are the exact same hopes and thoughts many of our citizens thought when they relocated to our beautiful city. Unfortunately, in Tommy's case, he also never experimented with heroin before moving here.
I feel like I can't overstate this enough.
He could really use -your- help. Tommy needs -your- time. If you continue to read, you’ll see that he's waited his time, he's paid his dues. It’s his turn for a little good fortunate to fall his way for once. It's time for his life to improve.
It's time to stop the cycle of addiction, and it's time to help this man heal.
Yes: he is homeless. Yes, there is a reason for why he is currently homeless. Tommy suffers from a drug addiction. Tommy’s addiction is to heroin.
In case you’re already wondering: yes, he has tried to quit the drug in the past.
Knowing that, I asked him: “Do you feel like you gave it all your effort when you tried to quit last time?” His response was that he didn't try to quit with all the force he could possibly muster. He also told me that he now knows that he was mistaken to have ever thought that trying heroin would lead to anything but utter devastation. He told me that he can look back to just a few years ago, before he moved to Albuquerque, and he can remember what it was like to not be addicted.
He knows now how horribly addictive of a drug it is, now that he's addicted to it. To say that heroin is the most addictive substance known to man may seem like common knowledge, but where I grew up it was very common for young adults to experiment with every drug, including heroin.
I have to let you know though, despite all his flaws, I admire Tommy a great deal. I respect him so much for what he shared with me. I feel like he has an indomitable spirit because through all of his hardship, he remains faithful to God. He remains hopeful that things will get better for him. Even though he couldn't beat his addiction to heroin with all of his might last time; he thinks this time might be different.
I think it could be too, if he gets the right kind of help.
Thomas just got out of jail two weeks ago. He had to serve approximately 30 days for a total of 4 panhandling tickets that he acquired in rapid succession.
Yes: he asked you for money and food. He then went on to use the money for drugs because he is addicted. In the world of addiction, Tommy needs heroin everyday just to feel "okay". He tells me that he uses the drug for completely different reasons than any other drug he has ever done. In the past it was recreational for him; he did drugs for fun. Now everyday that he wakes up he is immediately sick and in pain until he can scrape together 20$ for a fix.
In his mind, he needs that drug more than anything else in the world.
When I gave Tommy 4$ for some Wendy's, he opened up to me, and he educated me about how it is to be addicted to heroin.
He told me how bad the physical pain is when you go any amount of time without heroin in your system. He told me about how hard it is to be a "functional" heroin user.
I told him I understood, and that it is hard to be a functional human being when you are that addicted to any substance.
Try to imagine, for a second, anyone you know as a heroin addict.
Try to imagine the next person you meet as being someone who shoots heroin into their arm every night when they go home. You'll probably see your local supermarket, your local McDonalds, your local everything - in a whole new way.
The saddest part of listening to Thomas’s story isn’t any of that.
The worst part of his story, the part that gets me up in arms is this:
He's been in jail for one sole reason --
panhandling.
According to him, he has never been arrested for possessing drugs. He was never incarcerated for being aggressive. He never robbed someone when he needed a fix. Even though he never did, I'm sure someone who was addicted to heroin has.
He didn't hurt anyone. He didn't kill anyone.
He never did any of those things, but he had to suffer in the loneliness, isolation, and boredom that is a prison cell regardless.
I would argue that the only difference between myself and Thomas is that I'm not addicted to heroin.
The only reason I'm not addicted to heroin is because I've never tried it. Hopefully I never will.
I try not to pass judgment upon Thomas, but I can’t help it. I feel like he is such a good person at his core. I feel like he is: as smart as I am, as good-looking, as reasonable, as tolerant, and as loving as I am.
I feel like he has a lot of potential, in much the same way I feel like I do in the future. I see myself in him, and I think he saw himself in me as we talked about the state of affairs we find ourselves living in.
I can only hope to convey how great of man he seemed to me to be, when I finally saw past his addiction. The good news is that with a little help and a lot of effort on his behalf; he still could become highly successful one day.
Thomas is 30 years old now. He's not a kid anymore. He's in what I would describe as the "prime" of his adult life. He's at the age where people start to settle down in their lives and occupy their niche. “Normal” people, those of us who don’t have such terrible addictions, start to get married usually by this age. Some of us are lucky enough to have kids, purchase a home, and become productive members of society by the time we’re 30.
But instead of doing those things, Thomas wakes up everyday -- needing a fix.
Thomas feels pain, every moment of everyday that he's not high on heroin.
Thomas used to use other drugs too. But guess what? None of those even compare to heroin for him anymore. It's in a league of its own. If you’re like me and you didn’t understand how addictive and lethal it can be --
please go see the film: Requiem For A Dream.
Rent it, borrow it, try to find clips of it on the internet if you have to. Short glimpses of the movie can be seen on websites like YouTube.
Requiem For A Dream will probably change your life. It will probably alter your viewpoints. Hopefully, it will teach you a little bit about addiction & drugs along the way.
Be prepared; do not take the film's message lightly.
Drugs are a debilitating and destructive force in our world. While our perceptions of drugs are accurate in a lot of ways, unfortunately, our government’s policies regarding them don’t always reflect that knowledge.
Ultimately, rather than acknowledge that we have a nation with a problem -- we've convinced ourselves that by making drug busts and throwing drug users in jail that we're cutting off the problem at its source.
Newsflash: We aren't doing anything close to stopping the problem. We certainly aren’t cutting off the source. Drugs are still a rampant problem. They aren’t going away anytime soon. It’s one of those terrible afflictions with an outlook so bleak that when I look at the future I can only hope that it doesn’t get any worse.
Here’s the secret we may have missed:
Drugs aren't the source of the drug problem.
Society, healthcare, people, addiction -- these are the true sources of the drug problem in America.
Millions of Americans struggle with their addictions, and I'm sure thousands if not millions struggle with heroin specifically.
These people need our help. We're clearly either not giving them enough help, or we’re going about the entire problem all wrong.
Thomas told me that he once spent 65 days in our prison system(again, right here in Albuquerque) after an appearance before a particularly vindictive judge regarding his panhandling. So now he’s wasted nearly 3 months of his life in jail -- because he couldn't pay the 50$ bond he was given for… not having any money and having to resort to asking strangers for money in the first place?
This does not make sense. This is atrocious. This is wrong. This needs to change. People in our government and people in our community need to help this man, and they should have been able to help him a long time ago.
If you feel like this isn't something that's unsolvable, if you recognize that this is a problem that we can fix as a society, as a nation -- then please keep reading.
I feel like it is our duty to help our fellow Americans. Do everything you can; expect nothing in return.
Try your hardest to do anything you can to help your fellow United States citizens.
Help your neighbors. Listen to them. Tolerate them. Accept them. Become a part of your community, and become a part of the solution to the problems that I refuse to let us ignore any longer.
If you are able to: try to take the less fortunate into your home. If you aren’t comfortable with that, please buy them food. If you have no money to give, try to listen to them and give them someone to talk to. Please try to do anything you can to help them; they so desperately need it.
I have realized that I can't do this all on my own anymore.
Everything you can give helps people like Thomas. Everything you can give helps people like me.
In an attempt to sum up my experience in meeting him:
a meal at Wendy’s on Central by UNM: 4$
a drink at the 7-11 right next to it: 1$
Sharing a human experience and helping a man who is down on his luck: priceless.
I have written these words to incite change, to spread awareness. Please help if you can!
Friday, April 11, 2008
That is a dream it is what it seems.
Dear friends:
I have a message for you all.
I think, if you were to have the time to properly discuss this message I have for you
with me
you would understand, what I am about to say to you is the following:
Very important, life changing, news-worthy, you-tube-worthy,
the end of us all.
A Haunting Question: Where Did We Go Wrong?
It seems that we live in troubled times.
I look around me, and let me share what I see with you.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24057875/
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/10/girl.fights/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24051741/
I feel like there are a lot of things that shouldn't even need to be said between human beings.
But lately, I've found so many assholes and hypocrites and shitty people around me, that I feel the need to remind people of a few things.
1. We are all human. Please treat other people like they are people too. The golden rule, be kind, be courteous, always-always-always be respectful.
2. We are in a war right now. Our government just spent billions and billions of dollars on a war we probably didn't even have to get involved with.
3. We are involved in said war, we need to end it in the best way possible. "The best way possible" -- this is kind of an enigmatic statement because war is an ugly, terrible thing -- and there is no such thing as winning when we're fighting in Iraq the way we are right now.
We can, however, evaluate the costs and the downsides to this war in other ways that are more logical: monetarily, in terms of military loss, in terms of deaths -- the loss of life that is beyond tragic to the families and backbone and spirit and livelihood that is the foundation of this great nation.
Our current military personnel has been short-sighted, and in many ways blind when it comes to accepting the fact that no outright victory is in sight in Iraq.
4. We need to end this war, ASAP. I realize an immediate withdrawal would cause backlash and harbor the conditions for a state of even more fierce violence to erupt in the entire Middle East region. This is a volatile, intense conflict. This has been one for a long time, and may very well, despite our best efforts at peace, remain in conflict for some time.
5. We do not need to be involved in EVERY SINGLE foreign affair. We can defend our borders, and refocus our government's attention to the things that really need to be looked at in the world. We need reform in so many ways that one might even go so far as to ask for a unilateral policy reform.
I know change is scary, but people, friends, sometimes it can be a wonderful thing.
6. Right now we need change. We need change in leadership, change in policymaking, change in perspective, change in attitude.
The change we need most, the thing we need more than anything -- is healing.
We need it in so many ways. We have so many problems and sicknesses and illnesses and afflictions and problems and vices and sins and perversions within our society and country - that as Americans, it can be overwhelming.
As Christian's it can be overwhelming. As human beings, it is overwhelming. And we can do things to fix our stereotypes and we can take steps to make our country a better place to live for everyone. And we can do it together, and we can do it now, because we've waited our time, and we've prepared ourselves for how it would come to this, and we're ready to fix the problems right now.
Because again, more than anything, right now we do need healing.
We need to take the time, and put forth the effort to heal.
We need your time, and your effort, and your support as we heal.
And we need to love each other as much as we love ourselves
and imagine what a beautiful world ours can be, if we work toward making it beautiful again.
But then, here is a guy trying to change the sad state of affairs we live in.
I think he's a republican, so that automatically makes me hate him, right?
Wrong.
There are too many people who hide behind their political parties, rather than speaking their viewpoints.
The sad thing is, and you can ask any political analyst this, or the man himself for that matter; Barack Obama would never be elected president of the United States unless he was running as a democrat or a republican.
The green party is throwing away your vote. Voting for Hilary Clinton is throwing away your vote because she's not going to give us health care and she's not going to change things - because guess what - her last fucking name is CLINTON!
We did that shit before, it went ok, but this isn't Bill! Bill was ok, he just fucked around on his wife, and tell me this - wouldn't you?!
Would you want to sleep with that dead fish of a woman with her fake plastic smile and fake plastic life and rich ass attitude?
Let me go ahead and say this just as slowly as possible:
nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
And now a little faster so you don't misunderstand me:
NO!
Vote for Obama, and let's get health care, and let's start to heal this country.
Because we are in dire need of some healing.
To be continued...
I look around me, and let me share what I see with you.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24057875/
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/10/girl.fights/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24051741/
I feel like there are a lot of things that shouldn't even need to be said between human beings.
But lately, I've found so many assholes and hypocrites and shitty people around me, that I feel the need to remind people of a few things.
1. We are all human. Please treat other people like they are people too. The golden rule, be kind, be courteous, always-always-always be respectful.
2. We are in a war right now. Our government just spent billions and billions of dollars on a war we probably didn't even have to get involved with.
3. We are involved in said war, we need to end it in the best way possible. "The best way possible" -- this is kind of an enigmatic statement because war is an ugly, terrible thing -- and there is no such thing as winning when we're fighting in Iraq the way we are right now.
We can, however, evaluate the costs and the downsides to this war in other ways that are more logical: monetarily, in terms of military loss, in terms of deaths -- the loss of life that is beyond tragic to the families and backbone and spirit and livelihood that is the foundation of this great nation.
Our current military personnel has been short-sighted, and in many ways blind when it comes to accepting the fact that no outright victory is in sight in Iraq.
4. We need to end this war, ASAP. I realize an immediate withdrawal would cause backlash and harbor the conditions for a state of even more fierce violence to erupt in the entire Middle East region. This is a volatile, intense conflict. This has been one for a long time, and may very well, despite our best efforts at peace, remain in conflict for some time.
5. We do not need to be involved in EVERY SINGLE foreign affair. We can defend our borders, and refocus our government's attention to the things that really need to be looked at in the world. We need reform in so many ways that one might even go so far as to ask for a unilateral policy reform.
I know change is scary, but people, friends, sometimes it can be a wonderful thing.
6. Right now we need change. We need change in leadership, change in policymaking, change in perspective, change in attitude.
The change we need most, the thing we need more than anything -- is healing.
We need it in so many ways. We have so many problems and sicknesses and illnesses and afflictions and problems and vices and sins and perversions within our society and country - that as Americans, it can be overwhelming.
As Christian's it can be overwhelming. As human beings, it is overwhelming. And we can do things to fix our stereotypes and we can take steps to make our country a better place to live for everyone. And we can do it together, and we can do it now, because we've waited our time, and we've prepared ourselves for how it would come to this, and we're ready to fix the problems right now.
Because again, more than anything, right now we do need healing.
We need to take the time, and put forth the effort to heal.
We need your time, and your effort, and your support as we heal.
And we need to love each other as much as we love ourselves
and imagine what a beautiful world ours can be, if we work toward making it beautiful again.
But then, here is a guy trying to change the sad state of affairs we live in.
I think he's a republican, so that automatically makes me hate him, right?
Wrong.
There are too many people who hide behind their political parties, rather than speaking their viewpoints.
The sad thing is, and you can ask any political analyst this, or the man himself for that matter; Barack Obama would never be elected president of the United States unless he was running as a democrat or a republican.
The green party is throwing away your vote. Voting for Hilary Clinton is throwing away your vote because she's not going to give us health care and she's not going to change things - because guess what - her last fucking name is CLINTON!
We did that shit before, it went ok, but this isn't Bill! Bill was ok, he just fucked around on his wife, and tell me this - wouldn't you?!
Would you want to sleep with that dead fish of a woman with her fake plastic smile and fake plastic life and rich ass attitude?
Let me go ahead and say this just as slowly as possible:
nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
And now a little faster so you don't misunderstand me:
NO!
Vote for Obama, and let's get health care, and let's start to heal this country.
Because we are in dire need of some healing.
To be continued...
Sunday, April 6, 2008
There are a lot of things wrong...
There are a lot of things that seem to have gone awry
in America
in my beloved and beautiful city of Albuquerque, New Mexico
And even at this moment
Right now
Tonight
This Sunday
April Sixth
And it's 5:03 AM
And it's all happening right now.
What are we going to do about this? What can we do?
If you are normal, you're sleeping -- preparing yourself to wake up for your job or your classes that you have to attend tomorrow. You're active, you're successful.
You just might be everything I am not. And in that same respect, I may be everything you're not.
But even if that's true -- even if you are a polar opposite of me, I am betting we can find some common ground.
There are issues we are facing as a country right now,
and they are complex. They are problems that don't have clearcut answers. They are conflicts of interest with more than two viewpoints vying for the same space in our mind, all competing against each other. The "best" way is now the "hidden" and the "vague" way.
It seems logical then, that the best solution to such problems involves sitting down, and focusing on the issues -- really pick apart the heart of the problem -- and then from there choose the best option that ensures freedom, and ensures the right to life and happiness to everyone involved.
These decisions are more difficult than any of the decisions we've been making in our lives up until this point.
But there are men&women out there who do think logically about these things, and who do make good decisions, and who choose to do the right thing.
Unfortunately, our current leaders seem short-sighted. They seem distracted and occupied. They seem like they couldn't care less what is happening in my world.
When I think about my problems, and how they affect our current President -- I assume he doesn't care enough to help me. I assume he couldn't care any less about me.
And whether or not that's true, the fact I feel that way should provide you with a glimpse into how bleak my outlook is for our country & our way of governing.
And here is the message I have for all of you:
~-This all changed when I heard Barack Obama speak.
This all changed when I saw him on my television.
This all changed when the things he said just made sense.
This all changed for me because I didn't feel like I was being lied to by a politician, for once.
And I can only hope he wins. And I can only vote and be active to hope we realize he can really change things for the better.
And that leads me into questioning -- What really is the problem that is plaguing this country right now?
Are we not trying hard enough to do the right thing? Are we interfering with cultures and religions and areas of the world we know nothing about? Are we involved in the world, but acting like we're better than other countries, and like we have more of a claim to happiness in this life than the people of those other countries do?
I am not sure if I can adequately answer all of those questions right now.
I hope to address them in the coming weeks, and I hope you'll read them.
If not, I want to let you know that I did arrive at a conclusion in my line of questioning.
The single greatest problem we face as Americans --
is that we have an imperfect representation in our governments.
We don't have everyone participating. We don't have everyone voting. We certainly don't have everyone caring about what happens.
And there is something terrible about that, and that is something that needs to change.
There are those people among us who are too lazy to vote, who may in fact be utter wastes of space, even by their own admittance. I certainly feel like I have no place in this world right now, and if you ask me, I would tell you that I feel like a waste of space. I feel like the time and energy put into educating me, and making me a better person - has been wasted.
And that is something I am trying to fix.
Because I know that I have a lot of problems within my life that need fixing.
And I know that there must be a lot more people out there in America
who have problems that need fixing.
These people may have illnesses, these people probably have problems that are bigger than any of the problems you or I ever encountered.
These are complicated situations, that don't always have one correct solution.
They need our help. They need our time. They need our support.
And their cries for help are falling on deaf ears.
There is a sense of 'elitism' that people seem to have developed, and I don't know why, but they wear it like a red badge of courage.
They are proud to be rich, they are cocky, they are insensitive, and they are largely incapable of empathy.
I don't know how it came to this.
I can theorize that the greedy, insensitive, angry, violent, genetically inferior individuals within our society have found strategic survival advantages --
and that those human beings out there that are kind, honest, warm and loving --
are proving to be those that are also weak, vulnerable, and are the people who fall victim to being taken advantage of by other people.
And I start to feel sick. I want to vomit. I want to kill myself.
I want to get this life over and move on to the next one, if there is one.
I'm not even entirely sure if there is one, but I'm willing to be that if there is, it can't be any worse than this. It has to be better than this. It just has to be. Every feeling I've ever had in what I would call my soul has told me that there is something better than this life.
But something about Barack Obama, something about humanity --
tells me that it doesn't have to be like this.
And even though all of these qualities I've mentioned exist in us all, certain traits are surfacing and dominating within our gene pool and within our society --
and I don't think I have to tell you that they're not the kind,honest and loving genes.
Something is sickly wrong with our senses
and our view of the world
and when I sit down and think as hard as I possibly can about why it has to be like this --
I can't find any logical answers.
In a lot of ways, I am more lost in this world than you.
But at the same time, I believe that my experiences have taught me a great deal, and if you're ready to listen, I have a lot to share with you that I hope you'll find interesting.
And meanwhile, while all of this goes on outside my head...
Inside of it, I am living in the shadow of my mind.
I am discovering new reasons to kill myself, new reasons to hate the world, new reasons to be afraid that the apocalypse is coming.
Simultaneously though, I am watching Barack Obama you tube videos, and I am hearing the man speak the truths I know in my heart -- and at the same time I am enamored with politics and in love with expression and freedom.
At the exact same moment in time, I am finding more reasons to keep living. I am finding hope in political leaders, and seeing a better way of doing everything. We can change our lives, and we can live our lives in a better, more fulfilling way.
So I hope you'll join me as I attempt to destroy the parts of myself that I hate while I am constantly assimilating new, better, more efficient qualities that I will end up naming as "my own" attributes,
everyday.
Along the way, I plan to re-examine my childhood, all my life lessons, all my details that I can remember.
I am trying to show people
that there is a better way.
That things -- even though the outlook may look bleak now --
don't have to be so bad.
I hope you'll give me your time, your trust, and your friendship,
because those things are all I have to give to you.
Peace, Love & Harmony,
Kyle (killdistortion) [sin&suffering]
in America
in my beloved and beautiful city of Albuquerque, New Mexico
And even at this moment
Right now
Tonight
This Sunday
April Sixth
And it's 5:03 AM
And it's all happening right now.
What are we going to do about this? What can we do?
If you are normal, you're sleeping -- preparing yourself to wake up for your job or your classes that you have to attend tomorrow. You're active, you're successful.
You just might be everything I am not. And in that same respect, I may be everything you're not.
But even if that's true -- even if you are a polar opposite of me, I am betting we can find some common ground.
There are issues we are facing as a country right now,
and they are complex. They are problems that don't have clearcut answers. They are conflicts of interest with more than two viewpoints vying for the same space in our mind, all competing against each other. The "best" way is now the "hidden" and the "vague" way.
It seems logical then, that the best solution to such problems involves sitting down, and focusing on the issues -- really pick apart the heart of the problem -- and then from there choose the best option that ensures freedom, and ensures the right to life and happiness to everyone involved.
These decisions are more difficult than any of the decisions we've been making in our lives up until this point.
But there are men&women out there who do think logically about these things, and who do make good decisions, and who choose to do the right thing.
Unfortunately, our current leaders seem short-sighted. They seem distracted and occupied. They seem like they couldn't care less what is happening in my world.
When I think about my problems, and how they affect our current President -- I assume he doesn't care enough to help me. I assume he couldn't care any less about me.
And whether or not that's true, the fact I feel that way should provide you with a glimpse into how bleak my outlook is for our country & our way of governing.
And here is the message I have for all of you:
~-This all changed when I heard Barack Obama speak.
This all changed when I saw him on my television.
This all changed when the things he said just made sense.
This all changed for me because I didn't feel like I was being lied to by a politician, for once.
And I can only hope he wins. And I can only vote and be active to hope we realize he can really change things for the better.
And that leads me into questioning -- What really is the problem that is plaguing this country right now?
Are we not trying hard enough to do the right thing? Are we interfering with cultures and religions and areas of the world we know nothing about? Are we involved in the world, but acting like we're better than other countries, and like we have more of a claim to happiness in this life than the people of those other countries do?
I am not sure if I can adequately answer all of those questions right now.
I hope to address them in the coming weeks, and I hope you'll read them.
If not, I want to let you know that I did arrive at a conclusion in my line of questioning.
The single greatest problem we face as Americans --
is that we have an imperfect representation in our governments.
We don't have everyone participating. We don't have everyone voting. We certainly don't have everyone caring about what happens.
And there is something terrible about that, and that is something that needs to change.
There are those people among us who are too lazy to vote, who may in fact be utter wastes of space, even by their own admittance. I certainly feel like I have no place in this world right now, and if you ask me, I would tell you that I feel like a waste of space. I feel like the time and energy put into educating me, and making me a better person - has been wasted.
And that is something I am trying to fix.
Because I know that I have a lot of problems within my life that need fixing.
And I know that there must be a lot more people out there in America
who have problems that need fixing.
These people may have illnesses, these people probably have problems that are bigger than any of the problems you or I ever encountered.
These are complicated situations, that don't always have one correct solution.
They need our help. They need our time. They need our support.
And their cries for help are falling on deaf ears.
There is a sense of 'elitism' that people seem to have developed, and I don't know why, but they wear it like a red badge of courage.
They are proud to be rich, they are cocky, they are insensitive, and they are largely incapable of empathy.
I don't know how it came to this.
I can theorize that the greedy, insensitive, angry, violent, genetically inferior individuals within our society have found strategic survival advantages --
and that those human beings out there that are kind, honest, warm and loving --
are proving to be those that are also weak, vulnerable, and are the people who fall victim to being taken advantage of by other people.
And I start to feel sick. I want to vomit. I want to kill myself.
I want to get this life over and move on to the next one, if there is one.
I'm not even entirely sure if there is one, but I'm willing to be that if there is, it can't be any worse than this. It has to be better than this. It just has to be. Every feeling I've ever had in what I would call my soul has told me that there is something better than this life.
But something about Barack Obama, something about humanity --
tells me that it doesn't have to be like this.
And even though all of these qualities I've mentioned exist in us all, certain traits are surfacing and dominating within our gene pool and within our society --
and I don't think I have to tell you that they're not the kind,honest and loving genes.
Something is sickly wrong with our senses
and our view of the world
and when I sit down and think as hard as I possibly can about why it has to be like this --
I can't find any logical answers.
In a lot of ways, I am more lost in this world than you.
But at the same time, I believe that my experiences have taught me a great deal, and if you're ready to listen, I have a lot to share with you that I hope you'll find interesting.
And meanwhile, while all of this goes on outside my head...
Inside of it, I am living in the shadow of my mind.
I am discovering new reasons to kill myself, new reasons to hate the world, new reasons to be afraid that the apocalypse is coming.
Simultaneously though, I am watching Barack Obama you tube videos, and I am hearing the man speak the truths I know in my heart -- and at the same time I am enamored with politics and in love with expression and freedom.
At the exact same moment in time, I am finding more reasons to keep living. I am finding hope in political leaders, and seeing a better way of doing everything. We can change our lives, and we can live our lives in a better, more fulfilling way.
So I hope you'll join me as I attempt to destroy the parts of myself that I hate while I am constantly assimilating new, better, more efficient qualities that I will end up naming as "my own" attributes,
everyday.
Along the way, I plan to re-examine my childhood, all my life lessons, all my details that I can remember.
I am trying to show people
that there is a better way.
That things -- even though the outlook may look bleak now --
don't have to be so bad.
I hope you'll give me your time, your trust, and your friendship,
because those things are all I have to give to you.
Peace, Love & Harmony,
Kyle (killdistortion) [sin&suffering]
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